Closet Sci-Fi Geek

Batman Begins a New Franchise?

I finally saw Batman Begins, belatedly. I had heard how amazingly good it was, so I was frankly surprised that it wasn’t all that and a bag of chips.

I think the “excitement” about this latest version of Batman is that it was somehow “darker” and less campy than previous versions. Yet, I really enjoyed Tim Burton’s vision of Batman, where a post-modern art deco Gotham City rose up out of the night like some sort of macabre caricature of New York City. The visual flare isn’t there in this latest version: The new Gotham City sadly mixes in a few bright moments of CGI-created artistic vision with shots from a real city: The effect falls flat and loses its magic.

Christian Bale broods perfectly as Batman - though I’m not sure if I love or hate how his voice gets all husky and sexy once he dons the suit. Michael Caine makes a great Alfred, and I liked Morgan Freeman’s appearance.

Still, for all the dark “realism” of this latest Batman, a few glaring plotholes really bugged me. (Minor spoilers ahead if you haven’t seen it.) The entire beginning of the film fell flat for me. Somehow Bruce Wayne is in a Chinese prison, gets set free by some guy whose identity I never quite figured out (played by Liam Neeson), and then joins a Ninja training camp. Only, Bruce doesn’t figure out until the last day of training that this group is out to destroy Gotham City!

Doh! You think they might have mentioned that in the job interview?

From there, Bruce nobly refuses to kill one criminal, only to set fire to the entire Ninja fortress, thus killing a whole slew of Ninjas and probably the guy he was trying to protect in the first place. Real smart.

From there, a ludicrous, convoluted plot develops involving a crime boss and Arkham Asylum…which is always a good thing to bring in, but only if used properly. (In this instance, Arkham is mostly wasted as a plot device, instead of being revealed in all its creepy, gothic insane asylum glory.)

Mixed in with this is some sort of minor non-plot involving the meanie CEO of Wayne Enterprises taking the company public…we find out later that Bruce himself bought up all the shares, so now he’s the majority owner and can finally oust the loser. (This made no sense to me. Wouldn’t Bruce have been the majority shareholder when the company was private? The whole thing was ridiculous.)

All in all, I thought this was a bloated piece of crap that was saved only by Bale, who makes a good Bruce Wayne and does have some presence as Batman.

A sequal is in the works…or, should we call the next one installment six in the series (or seven, including Catwoman)? Let’s hope the writing is better next time around.

Vote in the discussion forums: Who’s Your Favorite Batman?

Fantastic Four Not So Fantastic, But OK

Finally got around to seeing Fantastic Four on DVD last night. It was OK. I have to admit, I’m getting a bit tired of live-action superhero flicks (for some reason, I think I like my superheroes better animated), but this one wasn’t so bad. It just wasn’t great. Far too much time was spent on exposition and explanation as to how and why the Fantastic Four and their archnemesis got their powers. (In fact, this took up most of the film, it seemed.) There wasn’t enough fun superhero stuff going on.

It was entertaining, though, with some good funny bits from “Torch.” (When first watching “Mr. Fantastic” do his rubbery-arm thing, Torch says: “Ewww. That’s gross.”) The actors were mostly fine, except Jessica Alba really bugged me with her orange hair matching her obviously fake orange-tanned skin.

I’d be willing to see a sequel, but they’ll have to up the stakes on it and have a more defined enemy to fight. Three stars.

Terry Pratchett’s Discworld: Equal Rites

I’m rediscovering Discworld after snagging a slew of leftover Discworld books at the end of my improv theater’s yard sale. Just got through Equal Rites, which follows the story of young Eskarina, a wannabe female wizard in a time when that was decidedly a no-no. I enjoyed this book a lot, so I’ll be going through the rest in my stack and commenting on them here periodically.

Lady in the Water - LOVED IT!

OK, I am now convinced that half of the paid movie critics out there are just morons. M. Night Shyamalan’s Lady in the Water is not for everyone - literal-minded folks will hate it - but that doesn’t mean it sucks. Critics just don’t seem to get it, though. (It may be in part because Shyamalan gets some satisfying revenge against film critics in the movie…but I won’t spoil the fun by explaining more.)

Part of the problem is that Lady in the Water isn’t your typical film. It can’t be easily pegged into one category. It has some scary moments, but it’s not really a horror film. It’s actually quite funny (intentionally so), but not a comedy. It’s a tearjerker in parts, but not a chick flick. So what the heck is it?

Imagine, if you will, that a myth or bedtime story came happened in present day. All myths and bedtime stories have their archetypes - the hero, the healer, the mystic, etc. Imagine, then, that your every day neighbors actually became part of the myth. What would that look like?

Lady in the Water provides the answer - and it’s simultaneously hilarious as all get out while being extremely touching. Here we have an apartment complex, filled with the most bizarre, endearing characters you’d ever want as neighbors. There’s the cat lady, the recluse, the intellectual snob, the dumb jock (this one is working out only “one side of his body”), and the shy superintendent, among others.

The film starts off with the superintendent heroicly smashing into bits a large, hairy bug with the handle of a broom in one of the apartments. The women in this apartment are screaming with terror; when the deed is done, they thank him as if he had just saved them from a fire-breathing dragon.

From there, we are introduced to the quirky characters residing at the apartment complex the Cove, and soon the “Lady in the Water” shows up. She’s a mythological creature, straight out of the depths of the apartment’s pool. She’s here to instigate change, but she’s in trouble. It turns out the everyday folks at the Cove are to become her champions. “Everyone has a purpose,” she tells them.

If this sounds absurd, it absolutely is. And it’s wonderful. The juxtaposition of mundane apartment life with a heroic, mythical quest is something that would seem to be impossible to pull off. Yet, I believe Shyamalan does it beautifully.

A number of elements combine to make this improbable situation work. First, the cinematography is fantastic, turning a normal apartment building into an industrial castle shrouded in mist. Each location within the building is a little world unto itself, and the individual apartments are all decorated in unique ways that express the characters that live within them.

The characters themselves walk a fine line between stereotype and believability. An ongoing commentary from a film critic living in the building pokes fun at these charicatures quite effectively. The film references itself quite cleverly in a number of ways.

Humor is sprinkled throughout the film, showcasing the humanity of the characters as well as the absurdity of the whole thing. At one point, the main character is having an ongoing dialogue with a Korean woman about the mythological creature while her daughter translates through the cellphone. It’s hilarious.

And yet, in spite of the humor, the film is marked by many touching moments, including one extremely powerful scene that had my heart in my throat. The film makes a huge nod to writers, when it explores the power of the written word to change the world. (As a writer, I totally gibe with that. I was inspired!)

All that said, not everyone will enjoy this film. If you expect things to be “realistic” in your films (even in your fantasy films), then you’ll have a hard time swallowing Lady in the Water. If you can take this film as what it is meant to be - a parable, a bedtime story, and a myth - then you’ll find it enjoyable on many levels.

So this is one of those films you’ll either love or hate. I loved it; my friend who saw it with me hated it. A group of older black men were sitting behind us, and as they left the theater, they kept joking, “she should have stayyyyed in the water!!”

As we were discussing the film on the way out, a guy on a bench outside the theater heard us and asked us what we thought. He told us he loved it, thought it was very moving, and couldn’t understand why the critics panned it so much.

I personally think Lady in the Water is one of Shyamalan’s best films, my second favorite after The Sixth Sense. It’s certainly his funniest film. Overall, I feel Lady in the Water is absolutely brilliant and works on many levels, as long as you can suspend your disbelief. I have a feeling it may end up a cult classic.

New Lost Star Announced…Horror is “Out”

Some recent news in case you missed it:

“Lost” Lands New Star, Reveals Numbers

Science fiction gets real

New Babylon 5 on the Way…

Good news for B5 fans: New straight-to-video Babylon 5 adventures are in the works. I loved the show at its peak, but I’m not sure I’m fanatical enough to want to follow a continuing franchise based on the universe. Depends on production quality and writing. We’ll see…

Star Trek: Let’s Kill it Already

So apparently J.J. Abrams (Lost, Alias) is set to produce the next Star Trek film, which will take place at Starfleet Academy, with Matt Damon (!!!) playing a young Captain Kirk.

OK…I like Matt Damon…but as Captain Kirk? Young Kirk at Starfleet Academy? With Spock? I am saying this as a Trek fan of 20 years: Can we just kill the franchise already? Please? You are destroying all my good Star Trek mojo here. Ouch.

The Black Hole - Disney’s Answer to Star Wars

In 1979, Disney released The Black Hole, an epic sci-fi “spectacular” coasting on the success of Star Wars. I recently watched The Black Hole on DVD, which is the first time I’ve seen the film since I was a child. (My memories, as such, were faint, but included vague ideas of some crazy villain getting sucked into a swirling black hole at some point.)

The Black Hole never matched the success of Star Wars nor the amount of respect, and as such, I was expecting the film to be total shlock. Surprisingly, I found The Black Hole to be enjoyable and interesting on many levels. It’s not a perfect film, and has several problems that have obviously kept it from becoming a classic, but it does have some good things going for it.

The basic story: A spaceship runs across a derelict ship, the Cygnus, that has been lost for 20 years. Now circling a massive black hole, the Cygnus is being manned by a mad scientist who has plans to travel through the black hole on the ship. Running the ship is a cadre of menacing robots and cyborgs, including Maximillian, a large clunky red monstrosity that has what appears to be spinning metal egg beaters as its main weapon.

The cast includes Anthony Perkins (Psycho) and Ernest Borgnine, with Roddy McDowall and Slim Pickens providing the voices for the two good guy, cutesy robots, Vincent and Bob. These robots were patterned after R2D2 but they fly and have big eyes that show expression by the raising and lowering of their helmets. I wasn’t taken in at first, but warmed up considerably after a bit.

As plots go, The Black Hole has some interesting, dark twists (for a Disney film), and the film doesn’t waste any time. From the moment the movie starts, we’re drawn into action as the small spaceship starts getting sucked into the black hole prior to landing on Cygnus, the bigger ship. From there, it’s mostly non-stop action throughout the film.

The film’s main problem is that it’s dated - and in fact, the acting and directing style seems dated even for 1979. I felt like the heroes were stuck in a 1960s time warp, for all their chirpy Disney dialogue and clean-cut appearances. The worst part of the film were the laser fight scenes, which are just slow and boring for today’s audiences, never mind the bizarre turns the soundtrack takes at those points. (The orchestral music slows down and practically turns into “Pomp and Circumstance” for the fight scenes - so much so, I found it distracting.)

Yet, some of The Black Hole stands up well to the test of time. Visually, I found The Black Hole to be absolutely mesmerizing in many ways, despite the old school technology. The close-up shots of the Cygnus, lit up against the starry sky, were spectacular. The interior of the ship has massive dimension and is beautifully designed. In these cases, I don’t find new CGI technology to be any better than the use of models or matte paintings.

Not all holds up well - the “meteorite” shower is a bit clunky, especially on a standard TV screen, except for the fantastic ride of one mighty “meteorite” through the ship in what is often recognized as the precursor to Indiana Jones’ famous boulder scene.

Sadly, a few basic scientific faux pas hurt the film, and probably keep it from getting taken too seriously. At times, people seem to be able to step outside the spaceship into a vaccuum and still breathe, even as they float off into space towards the black hole. The roof of the spaceship seems to disappear on convenient occasions, just to allow someone or someting to float towards the spinning black hole. And the ending is…well, just bizarre.

They explain in the bonus materials that The Black Hole didn’t have any real ending written into it at first…well, this is obvious. But you’ll have more respect for the film overall when you see what machinations they had to go through to make the film appear as it did, back before CGI. The film received Academy Award nominations for special effects, and for good reason. Three years later, Disney created “Tron” using computer graphics, which was a pioneering move on their part, and marked the end of the old way of doing special effects.

Still, it’s not the old school effects that keeps The Black Hole firmly in the “film curiosity” file. Ultimately, what keeps The Black Hole from becoming a sci-fi classic is its lack of rewatchability. It’s just not fun enough to want to watch over and over again, like Star Wars, and it’s not deep enough to matter. Still, it’s worth a looksee, if you enjoy seeing how people did sci-fi “back in the day.”

Eureka: Hated It

I saw the pilot for Sci Fi’s new series, Eureka, and can I just say…ouch! That had to be one of the worst pilots I’ve ever seen.

Where to begin? Well, first off, I spent much of the first half-hour confused, because the Sci Fi website promo made me think that this was going to be set back in the World War II days for some reason. Never mind, I got over that. My bad. But that’s somewhat indicative of how entertained I was during the first hour, which was…hardly at all. In fact, Eureka was somewhat painful to watch, especially in the beginning.

In part, I felt it was the laborious and overwrought setup they were putting into play. Somehow, they needed a way to explain how and why this “fish out of water” character, the U.S. Marshall, gets stuck in Eureka. So they take him and his annoying teenage daughter (complete with nose ring) through a whole series of lame introductions while meandering through a crisis involving some sort of space-time hole that sucks up things and people and mutilates cows. (It turns out it was caused by out-of-control tachyons, the poor sci-fi writer’s excuse for real science.)

A couple things you need to know about the town of Eureka: One, everyone there is incredibly brilliant. Two, all the women are young and exceptionally hot. Three, all the men, except for the hunky U.S. Marshall, are eccentric dorks.

So here we have a convoluted plot, a painful exposition, and bad science. The only bright spots were a few glimmers of what might be humor in future episodes. The best line in the whole thing, which actually made me laugh out loud (I was surprised at myself, actually), was the Marshall saying: “Let’s not shoot the crazy end of the world machine just yet!”

I get the feeling that they are trying to set up some sort of science fiction version of Northern Exposure here. If they can successfully do that, now that the horribly confusing and boring show setup is out of the way, the show may have some potential.

And certainly, there’s enough quirky acting talent to make this work, including Matt Frewer, otherwise known as Max Headroom. Let’s hope the writing in future episodes is much improved over this clusterfrak of a pilot.

Who is Kyle XY?

Believe it or not, ABC has been spending money to advertise its new sci-fi show Kyle XY at the beach. For the past few weekends, a plane has flown above the beach skywriting WHO IS KYLE XY in big smokey letters. Well, it worked, I guess, since I finally decided to watch this show and see what the fuss was about.

Kyle XY appears on ABC Family, which is why it’s a bit tamer and less dark than something you might see on regular ABC. In fact, sometimes Kyle XY devolves so much into “family” dynamics and cheesiness, it’s like watching a bad after-school special.

The premise is intriguiging enough - Kyle is found naked in a forest, with no memory of who he is or how he got there. A family takes him in, as the mother is a psychologist specializing in cases like these. Soon, we find out that Kyle has some special talents, including super strength and a propensity for math.

In and of itself, this could be a darn good show for “adults,” but since it’s on ABC Family, Kyle XY focuses a lot more on mild family drama, teen angst, and family bonding. This is the downside of Kyle XY.

Yet, in spite of its painful moments, Kyle XY is quite a charming show. The main reason for this is the lead. Matt Dallas, who plays Kyle, is exceptionally good in the role, playing the wide-eyed innocent yet genius Kyle in a very genuine and sometimes deadpan way. His unique look and wide blue eyes truly make him perfect for the role. He’s obviously also being primed for teen-girl appeal; witness the bare-chested shot with the included promotional photo.

(I do have to say, Kyle is a hottie, which would make me feel terribly unclean considering he’s supposed to be 16 on the show, but in real life Matt Dallas is 23 so he’s legal. Phew!)

Alas, the good acting does not extend past Matt Dallas. Although his “adopted” sister in the show is actually not bad, the acting coming from the adults on the show is absolutely horrific. I’d blame some of this on the cheesy dialogue, but it’s apparent that mom and dad just can’t keep up, acting-wise, with the younger folks on the show. The only good “grown up” on the show is the apparent bad guy, none other than the X-Files’s Krycek, lurking around in a pickup truck.

The show also tries - and fails - to be moralistic at times. For example, Kyle learns what lying is, and then at the end of the episode, decides that he should lie about a fender bender his crush got into. “It was the right thing to do,” he says, but was it really? ABC Family promoting a family show that encourages kids to lie on behalf of other kids when they’ve mangled the car fender? No wonder we’ve got problems with kids and discipline these days. Yikes.

All in all, I think Kyle XY is interesting enough to keep up with on occasion, but nothing I’d go out of my way for. The good news is, they’ve got all the episodes streaming for free over at www.abcfamily.com.