Closet Sci-Fi Geek

Heroes: Episode Five

OK, rule number one in reviewing: Write it down as soon as you watch it. I saw the last episode of Heroes a few days ago and my head is swimming with so much plot at this point, it’s hard to remember what’s specific to the latest installment.

One thing is for certain: Heroes, despite its obvious flaws, is somewhat addicting. I am very much curious to see what happens next. Yet, the basic problems remain, the most obvious being the sloppy writing when it comes to the mind-numbing “coincidences” connecting our Heroes together.

And I hope they just connect everyone and be done with it once and for all, because it’s this major flaw in logic that, as I have said before, is hampering my ability to fully endorse this show.

Yes, Lost has done coincidences and connections. But there’s obviously some reason for it, some force causing this to happen. We just don’t know what yet. That, however is, not the case with Heroes.

In episode five, we have more unlikely incidents of connecting the dots, with Hiro meeting the politician (Hiro “coincidentally” sees the politician fly in for a rough landing at an out of the way diner outside of Vegas). Hiro’s Japanese friend turns out to be a fan of the webcam chick, and so shows up at her house unexpectedly.

This is all ridiculously stupid! Can we be done with it already!

Plus points: Plot with the cheerleader and her evil dad gets interesting, as dad has the brain of her would-be rapist wiped. And, the politician’s brother finds a good use for his copycat superpower.

I’m hoping tomorrow night’s episode will dispense with the stupidity and bring on more of the good stuff. Writers of Heroes, if you are listening, get it together. Don’t resort to cheap plot devices to move the story along.

Thank you,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Viewer

Remastered Trek Photos

From the episode “Miri.” Old:

New:

Heroes: Episode Four Stretches Credulity

One of the weakest episodes since the pilot in many respects, episode four promises to connect the dots between our various heroes. The problem with this, of course, is that such connections are inevitably contrived and stretch believability. (Should believability be an issue in a series about people with superpowers? Yes, even more so.)

For example, our webcam woman hooks up with the politican in Las Vegas. Turns out her debtor happens to be a main contributor to the politician’s campaign. She is asked by the bad guy to set up our dear politician by having sex with him (presumably, this will be filmed and used to blackmail him).

This whole plotline is the worst of the bunch. It’s been bad from the get-go and it’s only getting worse. Am I to believe that the 10 people with superpowers on the planet would even be remotely tied to something so bizarre as some sort of underground Vegas mafia man? Furthermore, with how completely paranoid about his image he normally is, it is completely out of character for Mr. Politician to do something so blatantly stupid as sleep with someone else when he is married a few weeks before the election.

I mean, c’mon.

It’s stuff like this that turns Heroes from what could be a great show into just a mediocre show, which is too bad, because the rest of the stuff going on is fairly interesting. For example, the show starts off with cheerleader girl rising from the dead: This is gruesome, but in a good way.

As for our Japanese Hiro, he has also landed in Las Vegas (yet another mind-stretching coincidence), but we are entertained as he uses his powers to win at gambling.

Meanwhile, we find out that the politician’s younger brother can’t actually fly on his own; he simply takes on whatever power the superhero closest to him has.

As the show ends, we see a future version of Hiro appearing to give a message. He’s lost his glasses, his dorkiness, and his accent: He now speaks perfect English with exceptional confidence. So far, he’s definitely turning out to be the most fascinating and interesting character on the show.

I give this episode a B-.

Farscape Band Playing at the Farscape Convention

See, I always knew Farscape was super cool. Who would have thought that there would be an actual rock band featuring our beloved D’Argo, with Scorpius on drums! (Well, their human counterparts, anyway.) Their band, Signal Room, will be appearing Friday, November 3, at 10 pm at the Burbank convention. From the Creation Entertainment website:

“By popular fan request, the amazing band SIGNAL ROOM will make a rare U.S. performance at our event on Friday evening, Nov. 3rd, 2006, at 10 pm. Featuring ANTHONY SIMCOE on guitars and vocals, WAYNE PYGRAM on drums and vocals, STEPHEN EDWARDS on guitars and GERRY KORTEGAST on bass, the band is touring to support the release of their amazing new CD which will be available for sale at the show.”

They are also having a contest for a back-up vocalist! (Alas, my voice just isn’t that great, though I do sing in tune.)

You can purchase tickets here.

Beloved Boone Back on Lost!

Maybe it’s a girlie thing, but I was a huge fan of Boone and very upset when he was killed off on Lost in the first season. It’s not just that Iam Somerhalder is a super hottie of the nth degree (oh, the eyes!). I actually liked his character. He was calm and somehow soothing…something you can’t say about the rest of the island misfits. (In particular, whereas Jack would run off yelling and brandishing a big stick the moment something bad happened, Boone knew how to keep his cool.)

So I was thrilled to see Boone reappear on Wednesday night’s episode of Lost - this time, as Locke’s spirit guide. There seemed to be some hinting around that he might be coming back again in this capacity as well.

It was also nice to have some of the first season mystic creepiness return in the episode…some of the original magic returned for me.

Here, There Be Dragons by James A. Owen

This young adult fantasy novel is so charming and so ready to be made into yet another loveable series that it did not surprise me in the slightest to find it has already been optioned as a screenplay.

Unlike most of the kiddie-fantasy being published today,  this is more adult and has adult protagonists varying in age from 18-26; one who is married and has a child and has been to war. Set during the time of World War I, the novel is a page-turner deluxe that has you gasping right up until the final page. I won’t spoil the ending and please I beg you do not read up on the book at Amazon, for they give away one of the best parts of the novel.

Three Oxford scholars come together because of a book called The Imaginarium Geographica, which is essentially an atlas to the lands of magick and high fantasy. Being a caretaker of this tome is no easy task and right away, the three friends have to deal with a murder in London (of the last caretaker) and then being whisked off to the Archipelago of Dreams, which is the land where all fantasy lives (basically another dimension).

Each scholar has his story. Charles is very level-headed but a bit retiring. Jack is young and trying to prove himself plus he has a dark-side. Lastly John, who is the new caretaker, is a man shattered by his experiences as a soldier in World War I and very unsure of his abilities to handle such an extreme situation. The reader will grow side by side through the story as their guide Bert and his daughter lead them through the Archipelago of Dreams on a dragon-ship.

There are a thousand possiblities already in just the creation of the Imaginarium Geographica. It’s quite brilliant really and I cannot wait for the actual tome to be published. Author James A. Owen is also a talented artist and his illustrations that begin each chapter are stunning.

This first story in the “Chronicles” as it is being called is filled with high-level excitement and much familiarity that will be revealed at the end of the book. It is worth every page to get there and just have that final moment of OH. MY. GOD. Just go with it, don’t try to think too hard because you will probably figure it out, which I would have if I had not been so tired while reading it. Ultimately I was glad because rarely do I get a great surprise like this!

Orson Scott Card had the following to say about the book - “Is there anyone who wouldn’t enjoy reading Here, There Be Dragons? If there is such a person, I haven’t met him, and I doubt that I would like him if I did. I am only disappointed that, because this book is so new, I’ll have to wait too long to read the sequels.”

I agree completely. I hope the author can write fast!

Endymion Spring by Matthew Skelton

Hailed as the “DaVinci book for kids” I picked up Endymion Spring at Wal-mart a few days ago just to have a light quick fantasy read. I was right on two counts, it was light and it was quick. 

I actually enjoyed the book though I admit I was much more ramped up to a spectacular ending than the book offered. As a bibliophile myself I was quite entranced by the plot which consisted of a 12 year old (or around that) boy finding a blank book in the Oxford library that is the key to a much larger mystery that includes Johann Gutenberg and Faust. Some pretty weight material for fifth graders! 

The book is well-written no matter what age is reading and that is always a pleasure. I can see clearly by the open ending that Mr. Skelton plans an entire series and why not? Those Harry-Snicket-Fowl-Materials books have made their authors millions (and even in JK Rowling’s case billions!), so who wouldn’t be interested in diving in? 

On some levels that bothers me as they are all so commercial. In fact I just read a fantasy book (part of my Wal-mart buy) that actually included ADVERTISEMENTS for CoverGirl make-up and tampons in the book itself. I am serious. CoverGirl was listed in the credits and certain shades of lipstick and nail-polish were mentioned in the fairly vacuous book and the Tampax website was also listed in the credits. For me, that is going to far. 

Fortunately Endymion Spring had no in your face advertisements though it would (like Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials series) make a compelling tourist enticement to visit Oxford. Oxford being the real-world equivalent of the fantasy Hogwart’s. 

This is a fairly smart story with very little character development. It is an excellent debut novel however and I am sure as the story continues it will grow in its depth. 

Dune - David Lynch original theatric release version 1984

What can you say about a film that Director David Lynch says is the only real failure of his career. (I would nominate Wild at Heart for that honor!) Lynch claims that revisiting the film through the DVD edition would be too painful an experience to endure.

I revisited it this past weekend and it was indeed a painful experience. I remember reading the books in high school and thinking they were ok, nothing earth-shattering, just typical sci-fi, some prophesy being fulfilled thing by a young man who is great at everything and has no clue why. Ho-hum.

Some of it was bizarre and I could not get my head around it. Like the sand-worms. What’s up with that? And the women all being subordinate but having the power of telepathy. Oh, that makes sense. And the Fremen and their liquid blue eyes? Then there is the folding of space and the creatures eating the spice to actually fold space. People eat it too and its like an enlightenment drug if you are not using it to fold space and it makes you live forever or something. But the people are addicted to it and have Hershey’s syrup stains all around their mouths.  Nice.

Then there are these beings called the Navigators that live in giant fish-tanks and they smoke when you cook ‘em, I mean, smoke comes out of their mouths which look very much like enormous um…anuses with tiny tentacles. Trying - so - hard -  to -  get -  the -  image -  out - of -  my - mind. 

The Baron Harkonnen has a thing for the flower-boy who wears little more than a hospital gown and hospital paper booties and apparentally how the Baron gets off is by undoing the uh…”heart-valve” in the guys chest which causes him to bleed to death very quickly. Though the blood looks somewhat like motor oil. Which almost makes sense as the Harkonnens are kind of like not nearly as clean or groovy looking Borg. They are into merging biology with metal parts and sewing up mouths, ears and eyes etc. Oh, bad dream, bad dream!

And the eyebrows that look like living squirrels? Hunh? And yet Kyle MacLachlan looks pretty good in or out of his stillsuit (which the Fremen use to survive on Dune since there is no water). Why are there all these ridiculous looking people then the occasional super-babe like a  young Virginia Madsen playing the Emperor’s daughter?

What all of this clearly establishes is that David Lynch is utterly insane. I don’t mean that in a bad way since his being insane has worked very well for his career. Yet being insane didn’t work well for Dune. It just made the whole thing look like - someone utterly insane had written and directed it.

Some fans (yes, there are four on the planet currently) praised the acting (Captain Jean-Luc Picard aka Patrick Stewart has a small part - turns out he was always kind of old and bald, but really a much better actor than most of the people in this film), others ooed and ahhed about the sets and costumes, which were ludicrous in an over the top, punk-baroque way. Still others claim that the muddled screenplay and absurd dialouge is actually brilliant and only makes sense to those of us who might actually be the Kwatch Hatrack. Yeah, whatever. It made as much sense to me as Paris Hilton’s music career.

I only went to see it in the theatre in 1984 because Sting was in it and boy howdy he was HOT back then!

When I sat down to watch it yesterday I was determined to really pay attention, now that I am smarter than I was at 15 and see what I could get out of it.

Bad idea.

I may be smarter but this movie is like a nightmare after eating too much Mexican food and a McDonalds strawberry thickshake. It’s like it should have come with a primer explaining - well, everything! Like the book had! (Note to self: Beware of books with 100 page glossaries and notes.)

Honestly though, what I liked about the books (I read a bunch of them but not the entire series) was too confusing in the film. It wasn’t at all how I had imagined it. (Except for the almost naked Sting part.) 

Why do other planets and outer space have to be so fetishistic (The Harkonnens) and dreary and depressing looking (the planet the Atreides are from)? Why do sci-fi and fantasy authors have to mix up normal English names like Paul and Jessica and Duncan Idaho, with names like Feyd Rautha and Kwisatz Haderach. I mean what the hell? That just makes my head swim.

Why is everything militaristic and space-faring, yet the Atreides live in a medieval castle? Um, hello? No one has heard of plastic? No one has a computer? What about those old microphone looking things the Harkonnens use as  translators - ok, nice and stylized but ya know, these people can FOLD SPACE. And they can’t make a decent pocket-sized translator?

The computer graphics are so laughable it is actually jarring to see them. Someone should cut them out. Or re-do them, like Lucas did. No, don’t bother, it will still not be a watchable film.

On IMDB, I just read about 30 of the worst reviews ever on this film. No wonder Lynch doesn’t want to recall it. One of my personal favorites is this from Mr. Cranky: “Let’s face it: People who drink their own urine bond fast.”

That sums it up, believe me. It is a huge, warm, chug-a-lug of desert pee!

Battlestar Galactica Season Three: Already Going Downhill?

After watching the season three premiere of Battlestar Galactica, I am getting concerned the show is seriously going downhill this season. Cylons trying to convert humans to God by becoming fascist dictators? Cylons are machines - they should be more logical than this. The whole premise is just ludicrous.

Also, why the need for the graphic sex scene between Tigh’s wife and Dean Stockwell’s cylon? Eeeww. Gross. Honestly. I miss the old BSG, which was clean enough for kids to enjoy and had a sense of epic scope and wonderment. This BSG is turning into just another boring sex-filled adult drama. Ho hum.

I’m hoping the second episode will allay my fears…so we’ll see…

Heroes: Episode Three

If you have missed Heroes, they are running a three-episode marathon on Sunday, October 22. You can also check out the latest episode online at NBC for one week after the initial airing. (NBC, alas, does not keep an archive of old episodes online…but you should, NBC, you should!)

Onto our review:

As we move forward to the third installment of Heroes, the best storyline developing is that of Hiro in Japan, who has finally convinced his skeptical friend that he indeed has superhero powers. So far, Hiro has the coolest powers by a long shot…because we actually to see them in action. Otherwise, there’s still a lot of talk and no action going on (can we see the flying brothers actually fly already for pete’s sake?)

The invincible cheerleader plot gets interesting…but can I just say, is there something about have the power to regenerate yourself that makes you more accident prone? It seems that girl gets into some sort of mortal danger every week, just by hanging out at her high school. Yikes!

Back to our flying brothers - can I just say I am sick of the whiny, sniveling younger brother who is so self-obsessed that he can’t just leave older brother alone or support him in his political campaign? Get a therapist or something, dude.

The winner of the Dumbest Character Award, however, goes to our blonde webcam bimbo, who for some stupid reason won’t leave her son with his stable grandmother over some inane dispute over whether hubby is actually a bad guy or not. Who cares? You just murdered two guys and you are on the run - leave the kid with Grandma for pete’s sake. Geez.

Finally, Mohinder tracks down the lair of the evil Sylar…in a scene very reminiscent of Silence of the Lambs.

Superheroes, serial killers, and soap opera drama…it’s an interesting combination.

P.S. Funniest fake blog entry: I was annoyed last week when Hiro picked up a gun on the floor and was then caught by police when he didn’t do anything wrong. Here’s some satisfaction along that plotline, straight from Hiro’s blog:

Note to all my fellow gamers. In a game, you see a weapon on the floor, you pick it up. In real life, you see a weapon on the floor, probably not a good idea to pick it up.

Ha!