Closet Sci-Fi Geek

And Yet Another Theme Park…

New theme parks seem to be the rage right now. Another theme park is in the works, this time focusing on the world of Harry Potter.

Since America is so theme park crazy, maybe the next step would be to created themed communities. How about the Harry Potter suburb, with houses being designed as identical castles instead of identical McMansions? It’s a thought. Can’t be any worse than the wasteland that is now the American suburb…

Roswell’s Upcoming Alien Theme Park

Roswell, New Mexico, hub of UFO tourists everywhere, has a new alien theme park in the works. It is tentatively titled “Alien Apex Resort” (huh?) and is slated to open as early as 2010. It will include a rollercoaster where you are taken on a simulated alien abduction.

Many vendors welcome the new addition, saying that tourists often complain there’s nothing much to do in Roswell. (Ummm, staring at the desert sky at night for UFO sightings isn’t good enough?)

I have some additional suggestions for new Roswell attractions:

Do-It-Yourself Alien Autopsy.
Join a team of scientists as you participate in a live alien autopsy. Cut into the skin of a genuine alien. Examine their innards. Get to know an alien up close and personal.

Alien Casino.
Come to the first alien owned and run casino, opened, of course, on an alien reservation. Try your luck at alien gambling games such as “Three Hand Poker,” “Let It Hyperdrive,” and “Men in Blackjack.”

Alien Weddings.
Marry your alien sweetheart at the special Roswell alien wedding chapels. Of course, Elvis didn’t really die, he was just abducted by aliens, so he will be your master of ceremonies.

Or how about a real live alien spaceship tour, and hyperdimensional vortex? If we’re lucky, maybe they’ll throw some time travel in the mix. And let’s not forget a Tesseract that will connect Roswell to Vegas, so you can go watch some half-naked showgirls when it’s all said and done.

P.S. If you are reading this on a site that is not titled Closet Sci-Fi Geek, then it’s likely that my post has been hijacked without my permission. Please be sure to visit my blog here at www.closetscifigeek.com and don’t support the weenies who steal other people’s content via their RSS feeds. Thank you.

Great. My Site is Being Hijacked by a Sci-Fi Spam Site.

WARNING TO YOU SCI-FI BLOGGERS OUT THERE: YOUR WORK MAY BE GETTING STOLEN!

I shudder to give this site more traffic, but I was shocked to find out that this “blog” has basically gone out and republished stories from other sci-fi blogs (including my own) without permission. (Please, if you go there to check it out, DO NOT CLICK ON THEIR ADS!!!)

The Pod Bay Doors <===== EVIL COPYRIGHT VIOLATORS!
http://www.podbaydoors.com

Now let’s see if they are stupid enough to reprint this article using their bot. Meanwhile, I will have to track down their ISP and get them shut down for DMCA violation.

Geez. If they had just asked me and offered to give me free advertising in exchange for mirroring my content, I might have given them permission. I could use more traffic. The fact that they didn’t bother to ask is just plain stupid if you ask me. What is wrong with people?

Supernatural Renewed…but the Season Finale Lacked Punch

Supernatural has been renewed for a third season, but Veronica Mars did not fare so well.

One of Supernatural’s strengths has been how it balances out the long arc with shorter, standalone episodes. When all is said and done, you’ll be able to watch reruns of Supernatural mostly out of order, without any major confusion or issues with the story. Beyond that (and I think I mentioned this before), Sam and Dean are two pretty hunky guys (with plenty of cute female guest stars to even it out).

Alas, the Supernatural finale was not half as good as last year’s. This one was a tearjerker finale with Sam and Dean’s dad climbing his way out of Hell for a brief, emotional reunion. The episode wrapped up too nicely; except for Dean’s new deal with the Devil. This was nothing like last year’s cliffhanger, made worse by the fact that Supernatural was on the bubble and fans weren’t sure if it was to be permanently canceled.

Still, I’m looking forward to next season. Supernatural continues to be one of my favorite shows, and musically it still wins with its terrific 70s hard rock soundtrack.

The New Bionic Woman

Michelle Ryan from from the British show EastEnders will be the new Bionic Woman on NBC this fall. She will be reprising the role originally performed by Lindsay Wagner in 1976.

Not having seen Ryan perform, I don’t have any clue as to whether she’ll be a fit replacement. I loved Lindsay Wagner in the Bionic Woman when I was a kid. Since then, Wagner has aged beautifully and still shows class and grace in her Sleep Number Bed commercials.

Wagner brought some intelligence and maturity to the role; I’m concerned, frankly, that Ryan is only 21-years-old and our Bionic Woman is really going to become a “Bionic Girl.” (Wagner was around 27 when she played the role.) What the hell - they couldn’t find a woman a little more mature, out of fear that she’ll hit her 30s before the show is done? As if the show will even last that long. Please.

So, sign me skeptical that this show will be any good. But if that doesn’t work out, NBC will also have some other sci-fi themed shows happening, including one about a journalist who travels through time, and a computer geek who has had spy secrets implanted in his brain…

Errrr…actually, come to think of it, this all sounds like it’s going to suck big time.

My Verdict on Lost: Season 3 is the Best Ever…and Why You Should Not Give Up on the Show

From reading the comments here, quite a few former Lost fans have given up on the show due to frustration over the time change and over the apparently meandering plotline.

After watching last night’s episode of Lost, I just want to say…don’t give up on the show. Last night’s episode was probably one of the creepiest, most bizarre things I have ever seen on television. (It’s definitely warranting a re-watch.)

Lost…for all its flaws, has got to be one of the most amazing sci-fi series ever done. And I’m predicting now, that when all is said and done, people will be analyzing this for years, even after the full “explanation” is given.

I have to admit, I have had my doubts about the show and whether or not the writers were going to be able to pull together a satisfying conclusion to everything. Season two, in particular, was filled with boring side trips through the lives of the second group of survivors. And who can forget the annoying call of Michael as he went running through the jungle: “WAAAAALT! WAAAALT!!!!”

It was definitely a let down from season one.

(Minor spoilers ahead)

Finally, in the third season, we are getting some pay-off, while new, more fascinating questions emerge. If the plane was found on the bottom of the ocean with all the passengers dead inside, then who exactly are the people on the island? We know they are not dead, according to the producers, so they are perhaps something else. Clones? Mental memories manifesting physically on the island? Or is there a conspiracy to hide the survivors, who are very much alive?

The episodes are much tighter in this season as well. The writers seem to have found a better pace, with flashbacks providing more direct interest to the current storyline.

Emerging in this season is a portrait of a very chilling villain, Ben. He is perfectly cast and well-acted, bringing the entire series to a whole new level. In last night’s episode, we finally get to see how he ended up on the island, and get a glimpse into his obviously broken psyche.

Meanwhile, a new mystery appears, some sort of ghost or mental thoughtform that goes by the name of Jacob. Is this the supernatural appearing in Lost? Or is there some sort of other, maybe even more bizarre, technical explanation for him/it? Or is Ben just delusional and making him up?

As for any question as to whether the writers have a plan, I will now say quite confidently that yes, they do have a plan. For example, in last night’s episode, we find out who the dead man was in the VW bus and how he ended up there. The details seem very carefully planned out, and when things tie up like this so nicely and neatly, it’s hard to doubt that there is indeed, a master plan going on.

When all is said and done, I believe that people will dive through old Lost episodes and re-analyze the whole series from the perspective of knowing how it ends. I suspect it will work on multiple levels, and the Lost-philosophy will rival or top that of The Matrix itself.

Or, it could all end up as a huge disappointment. But now, I don’t think so. The fact that they’ve been able to string us all along for this long, with the amount of analysis being done, surely says something.

An End to Lost

They just announced today that Lost will run for THREE MORE SEASONS (arrrrgggh) of 16 episodes apiece.

I really enjoy Lost…but I just don’t know if I can last THREE MORE FREAKIN’ YEARS before finding out what the backstory is. (If, indeed, they have one.)

Here’s another interesting tidbit…even though the media keeps going on and on about how Lost has dropped in the ratings, and making it out to be so dire, what they usually neglect to mention is that Lost is apparently the #1 most recorded show on television, DVR-wise.

Now, excuse me, but to me the fact that people want to record a show and watch it later kinda speaks more to its having a solid fan-base than that it gets so many viewers on a given night. But maybe that’s just me, being the kind of person who likes to record things for later.

Have You Seen Spider-Man 3 Yet?

Because I haven’t. Honestly, I don’t get the hype. So what that it’s the “biggest box office opening”? PRICES HAVE GONE UP. At freakin’ $11 or more per ticket in Los Angeles no wonder we keep getting these “record-breaking” box offices every summer. And you wonder why I wait for most things to come out on DVD.

I will make an effort to see the next Pirates of the Caribbean in the theaters, though. Love that Johnny Depp. Oh, and Orlando Bloom. Yum. I’ll take one or both of them over Toby McGuire any day of the week!

And the Top Sci-Fi Film or TV Show of the Past 25 Years Is…

The Matrix! Well, according to Entertainment Weekly.

Other top picks:

Battlestar Galactica
Blade Runner
The X-Files
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

I couldn’t for the life of me find the actual list on the EW website so I can’t comment too much further. The thing that scares me about this list is that the original Star Wars can’t even be on the list…because it’s now been 30 years since it was released.

Yep, 30 years since Star Wars. I was 7 when I saw in the theater. I am getting freakin’ old. Dammit.

The Devil Wears a Mullet - Stephen King’s The Stand

Stephen King writes good books that usually make for bad television. Usually, the first installment of the miniseries is terrific. Then, it’s all downhill from there. (Remember The Langoliers? Augh!)

The Stand, in typical King miniseries form, begins with an absolutely chilling, memorable first installment. A killer virus is let loose from a research facility. It is so deadly that people drop dead just from one whiff of it. It’s a gruesome, beautifully shot scene, with the song “Don’t Fear the Reaper” playing in the background. It’s a perfect and eerie combination of music and visuals.

It is somewhat downhill after the first installment. We have an assortment of characters - the survivors of the plague - all heading west to meet up with some ancient black woman who talks to them in their dreams. The casting is generally good, with the exception of Molly Ringwald, who is completely annoying (as usual) and doesn’t quite fit as the love interest for Stu (played by Gary Sinise).

We also find that there’s more going on than just a biological apocalypse. It’s good vs. evil, as a character named Flagg begins to corral all the bad folks to Las Vegas, where he strangely enough creates a culture where drinking and debauchery is outlawed.

Flagg - who seems to not be Satan himself but one of his henchmen - will be forever remembered for the bizarre costuming and hairstyle he’s been given: He’s dressed in blue jeans, a matching jean jacket, and a really horrible mullet. I have to admit, I find this get-up to be absolutely repulsive, so it does seem to work, strangely enough.

Other characters include the usual King assortment, including an annoying whimpering bad guy played by Corin Nemec, a crazy guy played by Matt Frewer, and a mute played by Rob Lowe. As with any King endeavor it’s typical to find some sort of retarded person with special powers, and thus we have our dear, blonde-headed nitwit, who spells everything “M-O-O-N.”

The special effects are dated by today’s standards to the point of being laughable. The ending is just bizarre and ridiculous. Some of the acting is none too great either. Yet, there’s something strangely compelling about The Stand. I can’t help but watch at least part of it when it comes on TV.

One of the outstanding aspects of the miniseries is the soundtrack. As I mentioned before, it begins with “Don’t Fear the Reaper” and climaxes with a beautiful acoustic guitar anthem that plays when the four men walk towards their destiny in the desert.

As bad as some parts can be, The Stand is still highly entertaining and is filled with great quotes. “We are dead and THIS IS HELL!” exclaims the damned Nadine, who has finally figured out she made a deal with the devil.

All in all, it could be better, but it could be worse. The final verdict?

“M-O-O-N. That spells guilty pleasure.”